Feb. 6th

(written earlier)

I'm not sure why I am posting this? I'm not one to post super personal things. Aside from writing in my journal, I really haven't told this story to many. I have had many moments while writing this where I've tried to delete it.

I finally decided that this blog is a way to document our lives and tell our story... Might as well add a juicy part. ;)

Today I was laying in bed trying to get over the nasty stomach flu that I have had. I looked down at my phone and saw the date.

February 4th.

It then hit me that the anniversary of Jordan coming home from his mission is in two days.

Instantly, a flood of memories hit.

I even spent some time re reading those last few emails. 

They seem like they were written FOREVER ago. We seemed like such babies trying so hard to be mature in this situation.

I read the goals that we had at the time.

Jordan was dead set on med school and I was just beginning my interpreting program.

We kept "us" up in the air, but in some emails words would slip.

We missed each other.

As I looked at today's date again I remembered what I was feeling on Feb. 4th of 2013.

(freaking out. duh.)

I remember feeling so torn about whether to go to the airport.

I had NEVER wanted to go. 

Don't think that it was because I wasn't excited. I WAS! 

I just think that the airport is for the moms (okay, the rest of the family too). I did not want to take away from that moment.

Jordan insisted. 

I'm pretty sure I said "no way" the first couple of emails and then I finally agreed.

Jordan wanted me there, but he wanted my parents and brothers there too. He expressed that they had so much influence on him going on a mission so he wanted them to be there if they felt comfortable.

They did. It was me who didn't. 

I can admit now that I was really nervous.

The days before I silently lamented. I decided that if he wanted me there then I'd be there.

plus, i hadn't seen him in 2 years, so yeah, I was a little giddy.

The day came.

I over anyazlaed. 

Changed my outfit 100 times.

My mom and I worked at pre school that morning and I can promise that I was not focused.

We pulled adam and bradley out of school and drove to LAX.

I really had no idea what to expect.

My family and I made a "game plan" on the way.

We would stay out of the way. We were there to support, not over shadow.

I know this will sound silly because Jordan and I dated for 2 1/2 years before his mission, wrote EVERY week, and really did love each other...

But I didn't know how things would go down after the mission.

We tried our best to focus on our friendship while he was gone. I knew how I felt and I was pretty sure how he felt, but in that moment I was so nervous.

As a missionary girlfriend (ew. I really hate those words.) you have this pretty little picture of his homecoming in your head. I didn't know if it would be that pretty in real life.

After what felt like hours jordan finally arrived.

He was shy and timid, clearly overwhelmed, while walking up.

That all changed when he saw his family.

I stayed back. 

He hugged all of his family.

Then he B lined straight to me. 

I know i'm little biased, but it felt like he was there to see ME.

 Thats the thing about Jordan... he has always made me feel the most special.

It wasn't a crazy moment, just a hug, and a look, but I melted.

All of those months of that crazy roller coaster were so worth it. 

I laughed in my head about the hours of over analyzing about going to the airport.

We took some pictures and then my family and I left. 

I was so happy that I decided to go to the airport, but now it was time for him to focus on his family.

Don't worry, my phone was glued to my hand for whenever he was ready. 

I won't get into the days and months after.

They were perfect, but in a lot of ways boring.

It was VERY soon after he arrived home that we knew we were meant to be.

Its all history from there.

February 6th will always be a special day.

I feel really lucky to be able to spend every 2/6 from here on out with Jordan.

I don't know if I will change my outfit 100 times on friday or be super nervous to see him, but i'm pretty sure Jordan will make me feel just as special as 2/6/13.

He is good like that!